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I came across a fairly useful summary of Golf, which kind of puts the game into some sort of perspective, no matter how much you embellish it -

Tracking your score in the game of golf is relatively easy. To put it in the most basic of terms, you just count the number of strokes it took to get the ball into the hole and that’s your score! Then, you add together each of the scores for each hole, and that is your overall game score.

Now clearly the Ball is an integral part of Golf, and it’s probably true to say the game wouldn’t be the same without it, so how is it then I’m so blind to the science? Well, the simple reason for me is that it would be just far too expensive to pay lip service to the latest Golf Ball technology. Although it’s improving all the time, I hit far too many wayward shots and I have a rather worrying personal trait, which is the attention span of a tsetse fly. This means that I’ll give up looking for a ball in a heartbeat and simply play another, because life’s too short to spend it in the rough.

While I enjoyed the recent round of golf with my father it was a bit frustrating, because being of a different generation, there was a monetary value placed on each ball which meant that it had to be found at all costs. In fact, I swear he got as much pleasure from looking for and finding balls, which I had given up, as he did in actually holing the damn things.

So its safe to say that I’m at the budget end of the Golf Ball market and relatives now know that they make a welcome present which is why I always have a stack of them in the garage and in the back of the car. However even as a novice, I know that the ball of choice for most experienced golfers is the Titleist Pro V1 and Pro V1x with Titleist describing the Pro V1 as follows -

“The new Titleist Pro V1® golf ball is designed for serious golfers of all levels that demand Tour-validated technology and performance. Featuring an improved, higher coverage 392 dimple design, along with a new staggered wave parting line and exclusive A.I.M. (Alignment Integrated Marking) sidestamp, the new Pro V1 golf ball provides long, consistent distance with the driver and long irons, while maintaining soft feel and high performance into and around the green with Drop-And-Stop control.”

The NEW, A.I.M. (Alignment Integrated Marking) sidestamp which is the integrated guide for improved putting alignment, appears to me, to be a line around the ball, not to dissimilar to that which is made by some players with a felt pen - so top marks to the marketing boys at Tileist for that one.

As Nicole Kallis says, “Golf companies love to brag about their balls in hopes that you’ll buy them. As golfers are well aware, it’s all very mental on the playing field and it’s no different on the advertising end. They all love to say that by using their balls; your performance will radically rise above all others.”

Being a woman I guess, she also has a slightly different interpretation, going on to say,” The descriptions really sounds kind of sexual if you ask me, but then again, I could probably turn anything into an innuendo. Nike brags, “faster core, longer distance, the spin mix of length, action and durability,” woo, woo!

Precept Laddie has a really good one: “softer muscle, fiber core and ultimate distance with exceptional feel.” I LOVE the Precept Lady slogan which simply states: “forever long.” Isn’t it the truth?

But my favorite of all is Noodle, which simply states on the box, “long and soft.” (Nothing like a challenge, I say.) If you don’t believe me, go read these boxes yourself.”

Nicole Kallis is the author of, ” Secrets of a Tee Time Girl”, which she describes as the first book about golf and golfers by a Cart Girl.

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